I Miss Time

I do not have nearly enough time, lately. I miss it. Time and I have never had a really great relationship, to be honest. Once in college before a deadline I lamented to my friend “Why does time hate me?!?!” and he very sagely replied, “Time does not hate you, dear, it’s just indifferent to your plight.” That stuck with me. Time and I have been so rocky in the past that I actually tattooed a quote from a poem about time onto my body as a reminder that it is not my enemy, it is a gift, and it connects us all.

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“That which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space.” – Kahlil Gibran

That said, I could really use a little more time to knit, spin, and relax. Seeing everybody’s pretty bobbins or knitting projects on Instagram and blogs is just making me sad these days because all I can think is WHEN DO THEY FIND THE TIME?! My life has been work, home, dinner, an hour to do things, sleep, then repeat for a while now. I squeeze in a little knitting here and there but if it’s anything that requires thought, the project stalls out waiting for me to have time to pay attention.

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Newborn Vertebrae, click for project page.

Since this tiny baby cardi was all stockinette, I made great progress on it early in the week, finishing the body and the bottom hem. All that remains are the sleeves and picking up stitches for the border. It’s been like that since Tuesday, since both of those actions require a little thought on my part, and I just don’t have the energy for it by the end of the day…

All I’ve managed to do after work this week is wash and fold the gigantic mountain of clothes we received for the Hatchling at our first baby shower last weekend. Both cats showed quite an interest in the proceedings, it’s going to be hilarious to watch their reactions when the kid is actually here. We are having another shower this weekend, and another at the end of May, and while we are extremely lucky to receive so much love and generosity, I’m getting a little worried about where we will possibly store all the baby stuff. IT’S SO MUCH STUFF, GUYS. We should’ve rented a bigger apartment…

So apparently all I want out of life right now is a little more space and time. You know, just the basic cosmic stuff of the universe. Easy peasy. And I’m sure there are experienced parents out there laughing their heads off at my bemoaning a lack of time before the kid is even here. I know, I know, it’s just going to get worse…

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4 thoughts on “I Miss Time

  1. Yes, some of us ARE giggling a bit. However, I think that if you view having a baby as being your new hobby, it’ll be a little less painful, the giving up of other stuff. I mean, having a baby is indeed moments of fun, and joy, punctuated by other moments of indecision and anxiety, and the enjoyment of watching a project grow and change. Very much like a fiber based project, and yet so much more long term.

    As the mother of an almost 12 year old, I can say that for awhile, it’s super hard to find any time, and then over the years you start to get your time back bit by bit as they gain independence.

    There’s that moment in Doctor Who when The Doctor is explaining that time is like a ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey….stuff. And I am just like “DON’T I WISH!!!!”

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  2. I remember feeling that way, and still do, sometimes.,I just decided (because this is what worked for me) that something was going to give, and it was going to be better for me, husband, and kid to make time for knitting, spinning, maps, reading, or all of the above. Sometimes the laundry sits on changing table instead of getting put away. Sometimes dinner is pizza. But it’s good for me–and good for the kids–to know that rest is valuable, as valuable as productivity.

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  3. Transitions are always hard. I think that when things stay the same, you can develop a good routine and know where you can fit things in, like knitting. But when you are in transition, all those little spaces aren’t where you left them. It feels like there is no time until you find a routine again and you can determine when you can knit or what you can give up so that you can knit.

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  4. Pingback: WIPWed #122: Enjoying the Process | Woolen Diversions

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