I’m joining in today for the last week of A Playful Day’s blog challenge: gratitude.
I chose BRAVE as one of my ‘words for the year’ for 2015 because I have a tendency to get caught up in fear when there are big, unknowable things looming ahead. I’m great in a crisis or when face-to-face with a challenge, but it’s worry about the future, about things I can’t control, or (worse!) decisions that I can control but have yet to make, that wear me down. I was once described by my grad school advisor as ‘a swirling vortex of negativity’ when I was in such a mood and I hate to say it, but he wasn’t wrong.
In an attempt to escape such a vortex, I remind myself that I should be thankful for this fear because it means I have something worth losing. Fear is not often associated with gratitude, but the kind of fear I’m talking about is the kind that one is lucky to have. I am not fearing hunger, danger, or imminent death. I’m fearing the abundance of choice, the luxury of different paths ahead, and the beautiful, many-faceted burden of love. Thus, I intend to face the coming months with gratitude, courage, and perhaps just a little less caution so that my life is ruled by joy and acceptance (so hard to do) instead of fear.